“Pride is the deadliest poison that can kill a relationship”
Have you ever spoken with someone who boasted so much about his accomplishments that you wanted to gag? Or they listed so many of their child’s achievements in school that you don’t even know their child and you don’t like her? Have you been with a person when the conversation revolves around his new car, boat, or vacation? If nothing gets on your nerves more than a person who only talks about themselves or their own in a conversation….you have been on the receiving end of pride.
Pride is a community & relationship killer. It can lie to us and make us believe that we don’t need others/community. It lets us think we can achieve things for ourselves. The world tells us to be independent and achieve on our own. However, God designed us to be in community with others, helping them and allowing others to help us. Pride crowds out other people…Pride crowds out God. Pride causes us to take credit for what God has done.
There are 2 types of pride, the first being selfish pride. This can be defined as “excessive confidence or glorification in one’s self, possessions or nation.” Synonyms for pride include arrogance, haughtiness and conceit, among others. In the Bible, selfish pride caused Satan to believe he didn’t need God and wanted to be his own god. The Bible says in Isaiah 14:14, “I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High” (New International Version). Satan’s pride caused him to fall away from God and in turn he temped Adam and Eve to do the same. Genesis 3:5 says, “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil” (New International Version). Adam and Eve’s pride caused them to disobey God and sin (separation from God) entered the world. As you can see, this type of pride produced division.
The Bible also speaks of a healthy form of pride. This type of pride does not create division. It is pride in others that are living in obedience to God. It is the reasonable self-respect we have in ourselves and others. Paul speaks of this in 2 Corinthians 7:4, “I have great confidence in you; I take great pride in you. I am greatly encouraged; in all our troubles my joy knows no bounds” (New International Version). Here, Paul is speaking of his confidence in Christians. In 2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul says “…Therefore I will boast all he more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. Paul is boasting in the strength that comes from the Lord.
Pride has caused me to resist seeking help. Being a business owner creates a lot of extra expenses, and I wanted to figure out how to manage my money on my own. Pride caused me to not want to receive help from anyone & to make sure I was saving well for all my business expenses –instead I would stress out every time an expense came up. Once I finally admitted I couldn’t do this on my own, I reached out to someone for some guidance. Pride diminishes our capacity to admit: we need help, we did wrong, etc. It prevents us from the community God designed to help us.
Pride also prevents us from acknowledging and apologizing. Lets face it: we are human and will mess up. Saying you are sorry means swallowing your pride and acknowledging your mistakes. Only through admitting, apologizing, and forgiveness do relationships and communities stay in tact. Pride tempts us to believe we are right even when we were very wrong.
Pride tempts us to take credit for what God has really done. Even if we feel we worked really hard to achieve a goal, like raising a well-behaved child or advancing at work, it is God who gives us life, breath, and abilities — and ultimately does what He wants. Though God does ask us to work our hardest for Him (Colossians 3:23), He is the one who gives us our skills, abilities, and opportunities. Sometimes even the best parent can have the strongest willed child who goes astray, and sometimes the best worker in a career is let go because the economy is down. We can’t take credit or blame ourselves — some things are out of our control.
It is important to kill pride before pride kills your relationships, and ultimately your community. We need God and we need others.